Reality has yet to hit

Well, for the past month, I was in decision mode.. this whole thing came up on a whim in some respects... the story goes like this...
In early November, Steve Hanson sent out letters to all of the Haiti child sponsorship contributors to let us know he was planning to go down in February. It made me happy that he was going and thought, "hmm... it would sure be cool to go with him"... but the thought came and went. That was until a couple weeks later, when I happened to see him at church on a wednesday night, and I just had to ask for the fun of it (and to see his reaction). To my surprise, he didn't automatically decline my question. He actually launched into this story about how somebody else had asked him and then a couple others heard... so we're sorta calling this the "squeaky wheel" team.
Steve got us all together in early December and just talked over what his plans were and where we might be involved. It was mostly an informational meeting, and I found out that I would be able to paint in Tricotte... I wanted to make sure I'd be able to have a specific task to do while also connecting with the villagers, etc. :) But, I still wasn't completely sold on the idea... I was having a hard time deciding what I wanted to take time off for... Haiti or Belize... The sr. high will be going back in June and I won't have enough vaca. days to do both... much-less try and raise money so soon again. The latter part was explained away, but the vaca. days still were hard to decide upon.
I really wanted to be apart of another youth trip because they are really unique trips and have taught me so much about leadership. And, there are no other leaders who have been down there, who would be going this summer, since Paul left. Steve only went last year because Paul couldn't leave his twins, etc. and because the original thought was for him(steve) to lead the trip to Haiti.
(I hope this is all making sense)
Assuming that the usual youth trips will stay consist as far as timing, it totally clashes with the timing of my current lease being up the end of June and needing to move in to the new place by July 1st.

I came to my conclusion because of that last reason, and that I NEED to go to Haiti! Okay, maybe not need, but it's definitely a place I'm really passionate about. I've learned so much from them about love, that I want to do all I can do to show it back in as many ways possible. The chances to go I fear, will be fewer and farther between, so I better just GO now...

in the words of Matt Patrick...
Well I just can't wait
Why would I stall?
I couldn't possibly avoid this call
If I were to fail
I know that I'd grow
So I just have to go, go, go.